Dowry................is it even right???

Recently, a young man was whining and complaining to me how sad he was that he won't be able to marry his girl friend until December next year.  I din't pay attention because he always whines about every thing!  Towards the end of his bleating, he asked me for 3 million Tz shillings which he explained that it was what was needed for bride price.  Mind you, this man is a local carpenter.  In disbelief, i asked for the paper he was holding which had the list of things to pay.  This is what was on the list:

• 2 Male cows with four legs
• 3 female cows with four legs
• 2 goats with four legs
• 5 chicken with two legs
• 2 heavy blankets
• 2 bead sheets
• 1 kitenge for mother
• suit for father
• 2 hoes
• A sac of maize
• 200,000 for aunties
• 100,000 for spoilage( since the man had slept with the lady)   

Since we are now modern, they told him to not bring the cows and hoes and stuff, just convert them into money which amounts to what he told me.
Now let us look at what was being done before.  This is the bride price my father paid for my mum, in fact he never even finished paying!

• 2 male cows with four legs
• 1 female cow with four legs
• 1 goat
• 4 hoes

There is a huge difference between the first and second list.  Dowry, i believe is a tradition practiced all over Africa, and it it a beautiful thing.  But dowry has lost meaning these days.  Dowry was meant to unify the two clans together, besides the same cows paid by the man would be slaughtered in their wedding day for feasting.  It was meant to say "thank you for taking care of my wife".

Many westerners have interpreted bride price or dowry to buying a wife, and i don't blame them; seeing what men have to pay these days.  Dowry has been taken for granted, it has become a means of income, a way to sell daughters!  Eloping was never a choice in Africa and was not tolerated at all, but tell me, what will these men do now that they can't marry without paying the huge amount of dowry? isn't it a shame that a man has to take a bank loan to pay dowry?

Now this man has broken up with his girl friend because he doesn't think he will get that amount even by December next year.  I am sure there are similar cases out there.
Africa, look back and see the beauty dowry had, and restore it. 
"only a fool tests the depth of a river with both feet"
-African proverb

Why is Heart angry at Beard???

Story story story....Once upon a time, the heart and beard were best friends.  One day heart stole beard's high heels and burned them because she was jealous.  Beard found out and started chasing heart to beat her up.  Heart was running so fast she couldn't even breath.  She saw from a far a man laughing so hard and thought, "well, that must be a nice place to hide.."  so she ran into the man's mouth.  The man; in shock shut his mouth and swallowed her, so beard couldn't enter but she stayed on the chin waiting for heart to come out.  Heart realized that she forgot her makeup kit in the house and she became furious;jumping up and down( this is how the heart started pumping!).  Every time heart gets too furious she bursts(that is how a person dies).
This story was told to me by my mother when i was about six years old and i have never forgotten it ever since.  I listened attentively; amazed at how heart is so heartless to burn beard's shoes!! At the end she said, "This teaches us not to be jealous of people because we will not get along with people, also forgive because we may get too furious and burst like heart."  To date, these words ring a bell in my mind every time i get furious with people.
Story telling has played a big role in passing down traditions, morals, values and wisdom to children.  Apart from that it brought a sense of family bonding and entertainment. This tradition is totally forgotten these days.  Let us take time and educate our children through African stories.  In your busy schedule, find time to fix family story telling, you will be surprised how much they will all love it.  Tell them about your child hood, how animals in Africa use to talk, about what your grand parents taught you, make something up even.  Through this, they get entertained and learn about their amazing culture.
Try it....

This....only African mama can do!!

"ooh ooh, baba huyo katoka shambani na mkungu wa ndizi...nyamaza mwanangu..lala mwanangu." you would hear a Tanzanian mother singing this to her baby to get her to sleep. It simply translates to "don't cry my baby, sleep my baby, daddy is coming with some bananas"  why bananas?, i have no idea!  She sings this in a very soft voice and her baby eventually sleeps.  All African mothers have some type of song to sooth their babies, and it works wonders.  I am sure you can remember one from your mama, or you probably sing it for your baby as well.

You know what else works wonders? and only Africans do it best?

African sling

That!! I don't know how you call it in your language, but i am sure you know it. Lets just call it the African sling Tell me, who does it best than our African woman? The way she does it so fast yet so skillful..the way she turns her baby to the back and front without even opening the sling..the way the baby is positioned well on her well rounded behind...it is just wonderful don't you think?! 

It is a simple yet convenient way to carry our babies. With all the chaos and busy lifestyle, we no longer find time to sit and bond with our babies.  This way you can carry your baby, sing to her and while doing other chores.  Its a win-win situation; you bond, you do your chores and the baby laughs till she sleeps!  Its not old fashioned, i promise...you can use your baby stroller, yes, but once in a while give your baby the comfort and warmth of your back.  Let her bounce up and down as you sing to her.  Let her enjoy her cultural right

"A baby on its mother's back does not know the way is long"

-African proverb 

Resilient Africa; Resilient us!

Resilience is the ability to withstand and recover from difficulties, stress and catastrophe.sounds easy hey? well, its easier said than done.But we, Africans have a long history of resilience.  Not that we don't experience pain, not that we have no feelings, not that our lives are a bed of roses, but because of the spirit of resilience within us we don't break.
As a continent we have been given many names; poor,dark,third world, poverty land and many others that don't reflect the real us.  I do admit, we are poor and we have got loads of problems which by the way is just life, because what is life without puzzles to fix.  But that doesn't define us either, i'l tell you what does..."RESILIENCE''.  This single word covers every nation in Africa and every corner of every nation.  AIDS has engulfed us, malaria has killed our children, TB has left our brothers helpless, but within all that we still find the strength to fight.  After weeping and mourning, we wipe our tears, wash our faces, stand and get back in the battle field. We fight and emerge stronger.
They say fire's daughter is fire, and a baby snake is not taught how to bite, its in his nature to bite.  Whatever is born of mother Africa has veins flowing with African resilience.  Mama Africa passes this trait to all her children(the nations).
Take Rwanda for instance, this month it marks its 20th year after the deadly genocide.  the genocide was gruesome, taking more than 800,000 lives; men, women and children.  No one thought it would ever recover from that.  But look at Rwanda today, shinning!!  People who killed each other live under the same roof(forgiveness), mothers taking care of their once enemies' children(compassion), it is now strong and back on track(resilience)
The 2012 Kenyan elections were expected to be full of blood shed considering the 2007 post election violence which took thousands of lives.  But Kenyans knew better, they had learnt their lesson, They chose to show the world what they have inherited from their mother; resilience.
From nations, this quality is passed down to each African; dead, alive and the yet to come!  You should know that you are resilient.  No matter the challenges and struggles you are going through today, you have the power to not just get through them but to come out sane and stronger.  There is no need to commit suicide;remind yourself of your resilient trait, turn to your resilient brothers and sisters who can lift you up.
Remember, weeping endureth for the night but joy comes in the morning.

Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.

-An African proverb

Mother Africa Smiles

Mother Africa Smiles...

Africa Smiles...
As Her Captured Children's Strength Survives
Africa Smiles...
As Her Cultures and Comportment Thrives
and As Anglo / Caucasian-Persuasion Desires
Joins Euro... To Ancient Kush and Congo Lives
In Manner and Speech and Slang and Strides
and Intergrated-Jives and New Age Styles
and Black Berry Lips of Voluptuous Size
... Yes, Mother Africa Smiles

Africa Smiles...
Covered In Coal Dust of Diamonds Pressurized
Africa Smiles...
With A Star-Lit-Sparkle, In Her Big, Dark Eyes
and Like A Milky, White Moon - Her Full Teeth Shines
Saying, 'You Too, Will Dance The Dance of My Child'
... O' Yes, Mother Africa Smiles

Africa Speaks...
Calling To Our Hips, Our Bosoms, Our Feet
Pounding and Pulsing - Even Strained, She Seeps
At First, Her Voice Was Soft and Weak
Then Vocal Tremor Became Tribal Deep! 
Across The Earth, Her Sound Sways and Sweeps
Saying, 'You Too, Will Feel My Heart's Drumbeats'
And Like A Sultry Siren - Africa Sings So Sweet
Songs So Warm-Bodied and Sleek
... Africa Smiles, Singing Us To Sleep

Yet, Africa Bleeds...
Almost Bled Dry As Her Arabian Sands, Shifts & Increase
Africa Bleeds...
Even Tho' Her Resources Are As Rich As Jeweled Sheiks
Africa Bleeds...
As Her Continental Beauty, She Struggles To Keep
Africa Bleeds...
Like Poured-Out-Souls, Inked Upon Ledger Sheets
Africa Bleeds...
Like A Slow, Boiling Passion of Lava-Flowing Heat
Africa Bleeds...
Into Far Away Fields and Neighborhood Streets

Africa Bleeds...
And One Drop of Her Blood Floods Like The Power of Seas
and It Makes Her Children Hold Out Their Arms To Reach
And At Her Tears, Her Children Fall To Their Knees
But One Day, Dear Mother... GOD Will Heal The Breach

and Teach - That Mother Africa Holds A Place Unique
And When We Remember - How We Ate Her Seeds
And Climbed Up Her Bosom Like Proud Pyramid Peaks
And Kissed Her Rivers of Glowing Sunset Cheeks...

Africa Smiles Again and Dries The Blood, She Weeps
And Africa's Smile Will Transform The World's Waiting Scene
Rising From Forgotten Shadows To GOD's Garden of Peace
For When Africa Smiles All Civilization Will Greet...

Africa's Smile


Written & Copyrighted ©: 12/22/2013
by: MoonBee Canady 

MoonBee Canad

Our Music

You will agree with me that rhythm is natural in Africans. We start singing at a very young age; whether you sing alto, or base or even off tune(like my friend does all the time)! you just sing. I don't remember any game that we played as children that didn't have a song in it. Be it hide-and -seek, skipping rope, playing ball...you name it, they all had songs to accompany with. As a woman cooks,washes dishes or soothes her baby to sleep,you will hear her sing. As a man cleans his bicycle, you will hear him whistle or hum some type of song. We are just naturally musical!

Most African songs were never written and the composers are not known, but the songs last generations. They are passed down orally from one generation to the other. Don't be surprised that the song you are singing has been around for ten generations! When we say 'sing', we actually mean singing, dancing and playing instruments. We use different locally made instruments producing amazing sounds and each nation in Africa has beautiful songs and dances.

When do we sing, one may ask...well, we sing when we are happy, we sing when we are crying, we sing when we are grateful, we sing when praying...basically, we sing in every situation! Different songs hold meaning for different occasions. For instance Zaffa music is played in Egyptian weddings and Mang'oma dance is performed in southern Tanzania during the harvest season.
Our music is extraordinarily special. The instruments used; carefully stringed and curved from our very own wood, The dancing moves that are danced uniformly through out, the ululating sounds made by our mothers and the bases sang by our men! You'v got to love our music...You'v got to love Africa.

(You can listen to some incredible African songs on the purple music bar at the top of the page)

"If we stand tall it is because we stand on the backs of those who came before us"

-African proverb

Pregnancy & baby naming

Soon after marriage in Africa, in-laws, the clan and the entire village awaits for a baby to be born. In fact if there is no sign of pregnancy few months in marriage, both families begin to worry. it is believed that a child seals the marriage and bonds the two families by blood for eternity.

A soon as a woman finds out that she is pregnant, she tells her mother and aunts. they then tell other extended family members and news travel fast to the rest of the village. News about pregnancy isn't taken lightly. Through out the pregnancy, an expecting mother does minimal or no work at all. She sometimes moves to her mother or her mother in law so that she can be taken good care of. Fetching water from the river is prohibited for her because the baby may be born 'with nothing but water in the head!!' Traditional healers work day and night giving her her tones of herbs to ensure the safety of the baby.

Delivery of a baby is a celebration and measures to determine how long or how powerful the baby will grow up to be are taken. In Zaire, Gambia, Senegal and Uganda, a chick is taken from its mother and kept separately with no food or water for several days.(poor thing!!). If it survives then chances are the child will grow and thrive.

In most parts of Africa, naming is done during the first eight days after birth, depending whether the child is a boy, a girl or a set of twins. It is done in the evening, when the chickens are coming back home. A name is given only after the traditional experts have taken time (even days) to study the baby and determine who of the hundreds of departed relatives the child resembles most. After this is done, villagers gather and the baby is given to the namer (usually the oldest woman or man. She then whispers the appropriate words and lifts the baby high announcing all its names. The first name is that of the departed one that the baby resembles most, then the rest of the names are given by both families. some are named after the season they were born in. This is why it is not a surprise to find an African with seven names!!

In other parts of Africa for instance Zambia, they make the baby start crying. As it cries, they shout different names of the departed relatives. When the baby stops crying at the mention of a certain name, it means that relative has come back in form of that baby, so the baby keeps the name.

There are two things that i particularly adore about these old African ways. One is the unity and support they give to an expecting mother. Every one who got news knew that he/she had a part to play. Young boys and girls helped her fetching water and firewood, women helped her prepare for delivery, traditional doctors provided medicine and preyed for her. They all shared the blessing. Two is the naming. Apart from giving departed relative's names, Africans gave meaningful names. They did not combine two names to form one, they just picked really meaningful names that takes the child's character.

Here are some meaningful African names

Kirabo meaning gift(Luganda-Uganda), Amara meaning Grace(Igbo-Nigeria), Adofo meaning fighter(Egyptian), Furaha meaning happiness(swhahili-Tanzania), Mlungisi meaning brings order(zulu-South Africa), Nyambura meaning rain(Kikuyu-Kenya) and many more.

Let us appreciate by commenting our African names, origin and meaning.You might get a name for your new born!! i'l go first..

A chick that will grow into a cock can be spotted the very day it hatches.

-An African proverb