Our values: HOSPITALITY

Thankfully this value is still alive in our culture.  Africans are generally very kind.  Long ago it was very easy for a stranger to knock on  the door at night and be given a place to sleep.  These days however, due to safety issues many are careful not to get into traps in the name of 'kindness'.  This does not mean we have stopped being kind, we are just kind in a very wise way.

Africans have different symbolic ways of expressing hospitality.  In a certain part of Tanzania, a guest is served with roasted grass hopper.  This is a sign of high respect and an expression of warmth.  The Igbo in Nigeria present guests with kola nuts and Kenyans prepare githeri (a mixture of beans and maize).  Each nation, each tribe has a way to show love, kindness and warmth.  A way to say you are safe and welcomed.

A certain incident shocked me some years ago. My neighbor, a young wife and a mother of three got some visitors (who are actually her friends).  They happened to stay until late in the evening.  At around 8.30pm her youngest came over at my house and said he was hungry and his mother hadn't cooked.  After an hour or so, his mother came to pick him up after seeing off her visitors, so i asked her if she was so broke that she didn't have food in the house.  This is what she told me," Oh no my dear, i have food but i didn't want to cook when the visitors were around.  The three of them would have finished my food!".....now do you get why i was shocked???!!!

''In traditional African culture, whenever there is food to be taken,everyone present is invited to participate even if the food was prepared for far less number of people without anticipating the arrival of visitors. It would be a height of incredible bad manners for one to eat anything however small, without sharing it with anyone else present, or at least expressing the intention to do so” Dr. Festus Okafor.  This pretty much summarizes the attitude of Africans toward visitors.

It is very important that you relate well with people......

Our Values: TOGETHERNESS

"Go the way that many people go; if you go alone, you will have reason to lament" This proverb simply says "stay together."  Togetherness is one of the strongest of African values.  Africans believe that individuals get their identity from their communities.  If you are asked who you are, you mention your clan name.  Immediately one can tell which part of the region you are from, who your grand father is, what tribe you are etc. An individual who has been rejected by his community has no meaning in Africa, hence everyone is taught to stay close to his family. Family in Africa has a very broad meaning.  It simply means every body you know!  the dictionary explains that your sister's son is your nephew, in Africa he is your son.  Your aunt's daughter is your cousin, in Africa she is your sister.  The woman next door is your neighbor, in Africa she is your mother. Get what i'm trying to portray?...ya, i guess you do.

This might seem like a whole lot of nonsense, but trust me it is not! The sole purpose of family in the African context is support.  That is what the proverb means by "......if you go alone, you will have reason to lament"  If you are not with family no one will be there to support you be it in good times or bad times.  On your wedding day dozens of people will show up and introduce themselves as your brothers, aunts, daughters etc and you will wonder where they came from.  

they will dance and sing for you

When you are mourning a loss of a loved one, likewise they will come and introduce themselves as uncles, sons, sisters etc, again you will wonder where they came from.

they will cry with you

  In both occasions they will bring you material gifts of happiness and sympathy, they will sing, cry and dance for and with you. Most of all they will bring you love and support.

This beautiful value is slowly fading away in many of our nations.  We are slowly moving towards the nuclear families.  We concentrate so much on this small cycle and forget about the rest of our families.  We seclude ourselves as though we are orphans.  One dies and we fail to locate even one of his relatives, why? because he was living an alone life.  I understand that there are some hardships in being in such a large family, but i know the benefits beat the hardships.   

This value should not die.  There are many ways to uphold it and pass it down.......Give a call to one or two of your long lost relatives, let your children get to know their brothers and sisters and aunties, plan a family annual visit to your spouse's home village, attend family gatherings, keep in touch with your in-laws, arrange sleepovers for the clan's children etc  these are but a few of what we can do.  comments and suggestions are appreciated

If you don't stand for something, you will fall for something

-African proverb

OUR VALUES

Africa is normally mistaken for a country because of the many things its nations share including values.  Values are what makes us who we are.  Each continent,country,clan, family and individuals have their own values and they should all be respected.  We have two critical problems these days concerning culture and values...either we don't appreciate our own cultures or we force the rest of the world to follow our cultures!   We are very easy to judge and condemn others of their cultures.  You find a Nigerian mother spanking her child then you go around saying she is violating human rights!!  You see a Ugandan paying dowry and say they buy and sell women in Uganda!! You meet an American with a tongue piercing and call her a slut!! It is absurd! Every one should appreciate and uphold their culture and understand and respect that of another person.

You will agree with me that Africa is loosing its values day by day.  Our cultural values are being diluted each day that passes by and we will soon find ourselves with no values or identity at all.  Honestly we have no one to blame but ourselves.  We are loosing  our values because we don't even know what they are.  So, if we don't know then who is to teach our children? who is to pass them to the next generations?  We are raising children who have nothing in their heads concerning their culture and values, and as you know an empty mind is the devil's workshop! anything can be shoved in their heads because they are empty.  These children will grow up to have no direction or identity whatsoever, confused of who they are and what they should uphold.

It is your duty as a parent, as an adult and as an African to pass down our values to the youngsters.  In order to do this, we must first know these values, practice them and internalize  them.  

In the next few weeks we shall have a series focusing on the essential values that African nations share and how we can uphold them or revive them, and suggestions on how best to implant them to our children especially for the Africans in the diaspora.  Comments, suggestions and ideas are all welcome.

Until then, stay blessed.