"Go the way that many people go; if you go alone, you will have reason to lament" This proverb simply says "stay together." Togetherness is one of the strongest of African values. Africans believe that individuals get their identity from their communities. If you are asked who you are, you mention your clan name. Immediately one can tell which part of the region you are from, who your grand father is, what tribe you are etc. An individual who has been rejected by his community has no meaning in Africa, hence everyone is taught to stay close to his family. Family in Africa has a very broad meaning. It simply means every body you know! the dictionary explains that your sister's son is your nephew, in Africa he is your son. Your aunt's daughter is your cousin, in Africa she is your sister. The woman next door is your neighbor, in Africa she is your mother. Get what i'm trying to portray?...ya, i guess you do.
This might seem like a whole lot of nonsense, but trust me it is not! The sole purpose of family in the African context is support. That is what the proverb means by "......if you go alone, you will have reason to lament" If you are not with family no one will be there to support you be it in good times or bad times. On your wedding day dozens of people will show up and introduce themselves as your brothers, aunts, daughters etc and you will wonder where they came from.
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| they will dance and sing for you |
When you are mourning a loss of a loved one, likewise they will come and introduce themselves as uncles, sons, sisters etc, again you will wonder where they came from.
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| they will cry with you |
In both occasions they will bring you material gifts of happiness and sympathy, they will sing, cry and dance for and with you. Most of all they will bring you love and support.
This beautiful value is slowly fading away in many of our nations. We are slowly moving towards the nuclear families. We concentrate so much on this small cycle and forget about the rest of our families. We seclude ourselves as though we are orphans. One dies and we fail to locate even one of his relatives, why? because he was living an alone life. I understand that there are some hardships in being in such a large family, but i know the benefits beat the hardships.
This value should not die. There are many ways to uphold it and pass it down.......Give a call to one or two of your long lost relatives, let your children get to know their brothers and sisters and aunties, plan a family annual visit to your spouse's home village, attend family gatherings, keep in touch with your in-laws, arrange sleepovers for the clan's children etc these are but a few of what we can do. comments and suggestions are appreciated
If you don't stand for something, you will fall for something
-African proverb
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