African Music

Monday 11 August 2014

our values: RESPECT FOR ELDERS

This is one of the values that is diminishing very fast! These days you can't really tell between a child and an elder apart from noticing wrinkles!  When i was a little girl, i would stand up to give up my seat for an elder in a bus and most times the elder would offer to carry me on h/er lap.  But i tell you, today whether you are 89 years old, sick and weak, a youngster will not give up his seat for you!
I also remember we used to have different greetings for elders.  There was a difference in ways of greeting the young, the peers and the elders....but i don't see it now.  your three year grandson can actually tell you "what'sup you" and its acceptable!  Well i don't blame them because that is how we raise them.  we let them do, say, act any how because apparently that is their right!  These days we don't parent any more, we just give birth and then everything else will be taken care of by the world.  The parenting is left to the children themselves because we are very busy and besides "you cannot control me, i'm my own boss!" that's what a little girl told me about a year ago and i have not forgotten the phrase because i was shocked!

In Africa, even when you find absolutely nothing to admire about in an old man you just remember that the grey hair has earned him some respect.  We respect the elders for one big reason, simply because they have lived long enough and seen a lot, their for they have acquired enough wisdom to be our teachers and mentors.  Respect and taking care of the elders is such a great blessing and a value highly held such that there is no need for old aged nursing homes in Africa.  No matter how old you are or how successful you are, your parent (In Africa, that's anyone old enough to be your parent) is highly valued and respected until death.

So, this notion of children taking care of themselves is actually eroding our values.  Children are just children and they must be directed and guided.  We should teach them these values and exhibit them ourselves to build up strong valued generations. 
Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it

The mouth of an elderly man is without teeth, but never without words of wisdom.
-African proverb.

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